A plethora of opinions...

I'm taking this opportunity to applaud an event which just took place (about 11:30pm on Oct. 20th, 1998). As I sat reading about Martin Luther and how nothing could stop him from expressing his beliefs so opposed in his day, a young woman came to our door. She asked if I was me. Answering in the affirmative, she went on to express her disappointment in me for a message I had sent out in reply to an email I received. She said that, even though she didn't know me, she had a vision of me that was molded around this disgust. Why was she confronting me with her opinion?

One day, I received this email (contains slightly blunt language) from a friend of mine in Vancouver. It, basically, took no qualms with expressing how annoying, pathetic, and untrue the rash of chain mail sent out on the internet every day. I'm sure you have received these: "A young  (fill in the blank)  boy/girl was raped/beaten/torn from limb to limb today in  (fill in the blank) . For every person you send this email to, this girl/boy/dog/pigme marmoset will  receive (fill in the blank) ..." Now, truly. This is all ridiculous. I have sympathy for humanity and life but using email as a median for these "cries" for help was clever (and perhaps true) at first. But, as anyone should be taught in this century, if it sounds to good to be true, it sure as heck is. No one will send money. No one will add minutes to a kidney dialysis machine. If you want, I'll compare them to the infamous emails that claim you'll receive $1000 for every person you send the message to from someone like Bill Gates or Walt Disney.

The real point behind all this is that, even though the opinion was absolutely opposite mine, this young woman came directly to me (face to face) and expressed her opinion. That, my friends, is progress.

Author: Unknown

Hello, my name is Alfonso Merkin. I am suffering from rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, lack of sexual activity, fear of being kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, and guilt for not sending out 50 billion fucking forwards sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them, that poor 6 year old girl in Arkansas with lung cancer brought on by second-hand smoke from the cigarettes smoked by the big bad men who kidnapped her and took pornographic pictures of her for use on their child pornography web site will get 6 fucking cents every time you send me the letter. Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and everyone you send "his" email to $1000? How fucking stupid are you? Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by every Victoria's Secret model in the catalog! What a bunch of bullshit. So basically, this message is a big FUCK YOU to all the people out there who have nothing better to do than to send me stupid leprechauns will come into my apartment and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing the chain which was started by Jesus in 5 A.D. and was brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower and if it makes it to the year 2000, it'll be in the Guinness Book of World Records for longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity. Fuck them. If you're going to forward something, at least send something mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 50 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some "omniscient being" forwards about 90 times. I don't fucking care. Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by sending out forwards. Chances are it's your own unpopularity.

P.S. Please forward this to at least 50 of your best friends!

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