Dreams and guesses

Well, this has just been a ball. I just finished up a physics quiz and I'm ticked. My problem lies not with the content of the quiz but with my performance on it. Consisting of three multiple-choice questions and one problem, I found myself 2nd, 3rd, and finally deciding an answer on my fourth go at it. Herein lies the problem. Physics is a good class. Heck, I even enjoy it! But I seem to be following a rather disturbing path along which I can never seem to decide which direction to go.

I'm in class now and I must say I feel better already. Anyway, I'm at a loss as to the source of this strange behavior. I'll start a problem, feel confident that I'm doing it right, check the answer, find out I'm wrong, find my [usually] stupid error, and fix it. Normally this wouldn't be a problem because most of the questions I deal with are on our weekly homework sets. Unfortunately sometimes I have to take a quiz or exam and, brother, there ain't no second chances on those. Once you hand it in, the verdict's in. That's exactly what I did today. After fourth-guessing myself on the last problem of today's quiz I looked in our textbook to determine the correct way to tackle the problem. Sure enough, my fourth guess was wrong (my second was correct). But, it's turned in and I can do nothing about it accept try to avoid such bothers in the future. I always think I'm getting better in this respect but the results (at least in physics class) are slow-incoming. Worst part about this is that I feel like I've learned a ton and understand everything we've gone over thus far this semester.

That's the "guesses" part of my headline. Now for the "Dreams." They're interesting, weird, and sometimes fun! Overall my nocturnal sessions don't usually present me with dream sequences that I remember. I do sometimes, however, go through phases in which I can vividly remember what happens during them. This week seems to be one of those phases. So I'm trying to do something that I've never before experienced. I want to take conscious control of my dreams while they're happening. I'm not trying to do this for any reason other than I just plain want to. I've heard of friends and other people doing it and just think it's well within my ability to triumph over this feature of my subconscious. Last night, before drifting off in bed, I kept repeating to myself, "This is a dream. I am in control," to try and program myself to question the events in whatever dreams may come that night.

I was on some sort of trip with some sort of group (probably educational) in some militant section of Europe surrounding the Mediterranian. We drove to an area and ended up in the classroom of some school (not a college, more like a middle or high school). I don't recall any teaching but there was a time when the ground began to shake slightly and, thinking it was an Earthquake*, we all took cover under our desks. A man entered the room while all this was going on and, although I didn't see his face, he was in some sort of military uniform. His shoes clopped as he strolled around the room. At one point I saw him wipe his glove on the window as if to check if it were clean. I distinctly remember the window was covered in greasy smudges and smears. (This is a strange aside: just now as I'm writing this, on my MP3 playlist begins to play the Animaniacs song A Quake! A Quake! Weird.) I was only worried in this situation because two girls huddling under a desk near me wouldn't shut-up! Once the man left the shaking subsided (apparently the quake came from the rumble of his truck — although I didn't see it, I know that for some reason). The next thing I remember is that I found myself outside the classroom still at the school in an area of fist-sized, rounded rocks. Most of them lay in a square area between buildings and walkways of the school while others were strewn outside of the border of the area. Some of the out-of-place rocks were simply scattered about while others were stacked on top of one another. I hurriedly started sweeping the escapees into the square area although I'm not sure whether or not I disturbed the stacked rocks. While I was doing this, I turned around only to see my Mom, Dad, Grandma, and some friend she brought along approaching me with big smiles. "Happy Birthday," they said with smiles on their faces.

As odd as that all might seem, at that final portion of the dream I started wondering what was going on. The two things that came to mind were "What are they doing all the way over here?" and "It's not my Birthday." Then my alarm went off and I woke up. I'm convinced that those last two thoughts are my first step in taking control in my dreams. I consciously questioned the situation at hand in the dream and perhaps, given more time, I would've taken control of it. Maybe next time I'll have that chance. I can't wait!

* I've been in a couple small and a couple large Earthquakes and the sensation and feeling that shoots through my body during one was duplicated exactly in the dream, rather vividly.

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