My fertilizer thinks I'm stupid

Go ahead and lump me into the "consumer" segment of our society. But don't treat me like the idiot you think we all are. Last weekend I bought some much needed fertilizer and weed killer for our lawn. Everything I've read up to this point tells me the fall is the best time to feed your lawn for a healthy green field of grass blades. Believing my sources, I hit Home Depot and picked up some Vigoro weed and feed. I took the time yesterday to spread the pellets of food and murder (sorry, weeds) around the front and back lawns thinking I'd followed directions. I cut down the grass to a normal height the day before, as the instructions told me. On Sunday I put it all out because, as the instructions told me, I needed to do the deed when rain wasn't in the forecast for at least 2 days. The weather people told me it wasn't so I did -- fertilize, that is. And what happeded today? It rained!

The forecast changed from a mostly dry and rain-less week to a partly sunny morning turning to showers in the afternoon followed by scattered showers most of the rest of the week. I panicked -- the bag told me to avoid watering or rain for two days after the fertilzer is spread! Crap! Is my lawn going to survive? Will large, meat-eating vines mutate and engulf my home, family, and computers? What would come of us?! The directions warned me against this!

I took a horse tranquilizer to calm down then had some gifted candy at work to perk me back up. After chatting with a co-worker about his recent fertilizing experience, he said his bag advised him to water both before and immediately after fertilizing. My guess was that his was only "feed" without the "weed". I deduced that the "weed" portion of the weed and feed I used needed these dry conditions to do their thang. I also concluded that the fertilzer portion, which I valued above destroying innocent weeds, would be plenty effective and that I shouldn't worry.

Why, then, must the instructions strike fear into me and my lawn without explaining itself. When governments warn of impending threats and imminant dangers, surely they take the time to clarify the "why" of a situation so those that care enough to avoid blindly following such a directive may have some peace of mind that they're being instructed by sound decisions and worthy leaders. If our elected leaders are kind enough to extend such courtesy, shouldn't my bag of weed 'n feed?

Comments (1) | To Top

9/9/2007 @ 5:49am

Don't worry about the rain. I apply Vigoro Weed and Feed almost everytime I cut the lawn in the fall never thinking about the rain. Nature and the product work fine together. I have a great lawn as a result.

by Mike