Materials:
1 - 3/4" diameter clear plastic toilet plunger handle
1 - 3/4" diameter, 12" long piece of PVC
1 - 3/4" PVC cap (non-threaded)
1 - 3/4" diameter (are we seeing a pattern here?), 5-LED battery-powered flashlight (used to sell at Fry's Electronics)
1 - box of tissue or roll of toilet paper
Assembly:
From whatever length of PVC you acquire, cut a segment off that allows for gripping from both of your hands (~12" worth). Shove the toilet plunger handle into one end of your PVC segment. I say "shove" because the diameter of the one I used was slightly larger than 3/4"and could be made to fit in place with a little elbow grease. If this isn't the case with your plunger, you may want to get some kind of bioplastic glue (the kind which comes in two separate tubes but solidifies on-contact) to fix your sabre blade in place.
Turn your LED flashlight on and slide it inside the handle of your sabre with the lit end facing the sabre blade. Stuff a few pieces of wadded up tissue or toilet paper into the sabre handle behind the LED flashlight until the remaining space is full. This will act as a buffer to keep your flashlight from scooting around inside the sabre handle.
Finally, push the PVC cap on the end into which you've been inserting things (not to tight, you'll have to take it off, remove the tissue and slide out the flashlight to turn her off) and your ToiletSabre is now ready to dazzle, slice and dice your friends and enemies alike.
See the ToiletSabre in action (Halloween 2002)
Commentary:
Although somewhat shorter than is probably desired for a true light sabre, the ToiletSabre meets the two guidelines that make a light sabre a light sabre: 1) it glows like none other; and 2) you can use it. Now, I wouldn't mosey up to any ol' Jedi and expect this thing to guide your hands into motions which lead to his sliced-up defeat. The plastic which makes up the blade will surely break if too much force (excuse the pun) is applied to it. It is, however, far more durable than other sabres out there made from things like neon tubes which, although light up well, can shatter under normal operation.
I take no responsibility for any Tom-foolery causing injury or death which ensues from the use of the ToiletSabre, LEDsabre or from reading and comprehending anything on this website.